I haven't written in a while, say, a few decades. But recently, my favorite toy split in half. It smashed to smithereens at a friend's Halloween bash (really, it was worth the sacrifice) - and well, I ...

Back in the '70s, they didn't have the plain old Santa we have today. No, friends. They had Disco Santa. Disco Santa was different. He was effortlessly groovy. He rocked a white ponytail, drove a red ...